Previously I had just “started to talk about my views as a feminist” but it feels like I just dipped my toe in the puddle.
There are so many dots that connect to form a mindset that we or at least I as a reasonable feminist would like to see each person inculcate. Yes, I am going to say that I am reasonable, no reason not to say so.
I remember being in 12th grade and this guy on the stage was talking about women empowerment and he started off by saying,” women nowadays think that they rule the world and it’s time for men to step down.” You can only imagine the fire he lit beneath every girl in that room. Well, his point was right; it will only ever be time for men to step down if they were ever up there! The world was always ruled by both men and women. Only thing, women ruled a different domain and did so in their own subtle way. Muscle power was always given precedence on the outside and hence their kind was marketed well and ended up being the show stopper protectors and providers.
There was of course this bell shaped evolution process representing the stance that women got in the society, the importance of the roles they played and the exposure they received.
Now the problem as I see it is that people are so fed up of hearing the word feminism and so much is being written about it that it has left them in the mid air. And that’s where they are commenting and passing judgment from, “Oh, nowadays women are too much, they think they are all liberated so they can do whatever they want too.” For example- while driving. Now a wrong a wrong, what does gender have to do with that?
A girl get educated, plots to achieve her goals, is ready for a slight compromise in them after marriage but then some families just expect her to give up her whole life. Now the fact that she is changing her last name (and I love my last name), shifting to live with the guy’s family, isn’t that enough!
I have no problem in guys opening the door for me because I do the same. I do the same, and I do let them pass by because it’s part of normal curtsy and etiquette. Now the problem comes when these silly things emasculate you men. I have seen it happen, the guy when given way went by quite hesitantly the first time but from the next time he just wouldn’t pass!
There is no damsel in distress, there are just people in distress, and sometimes the person might turn out to be a damsel (Uh- oh that’s what damsel in distress means literally)! If a woman does not want help then maybe she really does not need it. For example- I myself don’t take help unless I really need it bad be it from a girl or guy. And a girl is thick skinned enough to not take help even though desperately needing it because she wants to exhibit feminism then damn her! And no it is not okay to look anywhere but at my face when talking to me, it’s just embarrassing, bugging and disrespectful!
House chores can be done by all and calling something a women’s job and then refusing to do it is an exact reflection of the mindset that needs to change.
Men’s have rights do, serious ones. I will not deny that there are cases of fake rape and sexual abuse against them. It’s a fact and I yes I am still a feminist. So they do need to be protected against that. And quite a percentage of men face domestic abuse.
Women even till date, do face discrimination at work, it’s not a myth and not just a feeling we have. But in the end a women empowerment for that matter any change will always require a change in the mindset first. Thus to men, you guys are doing just fine, no emasculation needed, just shift aside a bit in your seat as we can now protect ourselves and decide our lives for ourselves because we have the same exposure as you do (and great intuitive minds and dual active brains :p)!
I am sure I haven’t connected all the dots, but I hope to connect them all to form the constellation of feminism!