We all come from a place and are in a place, where we want love, we desire it. We scorn our desires, so that they remain at bay, but love, It’s a hunger that never stagnates. It could take us to dark places as easily as could take us where we want to be. Love, they say is peace, is freedom. But how? ..Since so is death. We all need to find an idea, a synthesis, and a hypothesis of life to cling on to, till we have the noose around our neck. Sounds dark? Well, it’s only an observation.
The human soul is infinite, unbound in its illusions. Snippets of so many emotions, desires conflicting and thoughts and answers contradicting, all within a design forged by the mind- a soul. We are souls, really? But we don’t really know what we are; I forget what that means, a soul.. but do I know what that really means, do you? It’s an undefined entity. But it’s a marvel how we have managed to define and find a picturesque entity to contain the infinity within ourselves. And we say at the root of our life, of our soul is the seed of love. Love is the seed, or should I call it the earth? And maybe soul could be called the seed. We have risen so high in our evolutions, branches like aspirations, fallen leaves like fallen souls in bits and pieces, rotten fruits as we let them rot by overfeeding or leaving them hungrier and refuse to touch them, naive buds- we pick them off before they bloom to become what they could be, though we sap water from our earth we can no more feel its true touch and or thrive in its real fragrance. I am just guessing and inking an evolving hypothesis, after all, how would I know what is real and true? Or was it always like this?
At times we look down and search for the real love, and we grow hungry, we want it from others and we decide that we are in love with them because we want their love. But what is love then? If it’s not want, if it’s not desire, maybe it’s rather to just see and be, thrive in each other’s presence, touch not hold, not cling, but the hungrier we grow, the more want ,the more we desire, the less we love. As desires melt and conjoin into each other, we find solace in each other, but what if these desires wan, when tick of the hand takes you elsewhere and your mate elsewhere, not physically but when the wants of your soul part ways, when needs of the soul are left barren, love departs, but love, can it depart?
Soul, it’s the n dimensional sense we have as we can feel, see and perceive so many things at once as long as we are aware that we can. But what is the most powerful sense, is it the sound of another’s voice, or the look in another’s eye, the typical motherly fragrance, or is it touch, touch of another living being. I was going to say human, but I think I can say living being in a broad sense. I am sure we have all felt the power of these senses, in leading us towards or away. A touch can bring you back from your insanity, from your internal shivering self to illusion of calm. I remember it happening quite recently a touch of a friend bringing me to the atmosphere that was pushing me into my own hell, just bringing me back to contained self even in that. I even remember the look that pushed me to rise, or that lead me astray. We all do, don’t we? We all love and writhe and whimper, laugh, smile and in our memories, we dream dreams that make us crave, and more so because we know how delusional we are. Memories and dreams, both the karma of and the route to want, need and …love?
When we walk down a road full of strangers, and we see just living beings strolling and we see the life, the web we have built. We are going on and on and on. But we are within that web, like the expanding universe, we are moving on and on and on and are yet static. But we are moving together and we are held together by that force that runs deep down even in our earth, let’s call it love and not gravity?
Just entangling, and untangling the thoughts in my mind… but whenever I think, I find an answer and then I have another question questioning it and I have forgotten the answer, it’s an infinite loop.