Deck of Cards

Today turns out is my blog’s two year anniversary. Yes two years, I started the blog when I was still in college.:)

It was a nice surprise to open my blog today and find the notification.

Just a poem from by subconscious which rose to the surface today..:)

Deck of Cards

An uneven bed of rough pebbles stacked at the bottom,

Stray thorns from dried up moments adorn it,

Tears no more nourish the roots; the roots have sunk below the bed into abyss,

Yet each breath that rushes grazing the heated uneven surface,

Stutters through the being, it struggles to keep the soul alive,

Thorns pricking at the flesh, keep the wounds from healing, seeping blood now and then,

But now the walls are numb, aching breath is only silent breeze,

 

 Passing moments shuffle the deck of cards,

Some moments lost in a gamble, some moments shadowed by the dark joker,

The loss’s price the soul must pay, yet the pain of it sinks into the abyss brushing the numb walls,

Somewhere the mind knows numbness is the refuge, it dread’s the intensity of the sensations,

Lest the soul is lost in them, drowning and dusking its purpose for existence,

 Hence it says, let the pain go beyond, let it rot and decay into a mere flecks of almost nothingness,

 

Now, I see a strange eyes peeking through, are they seeing me or have I been stranded by their aura,

Eyes of my other self, also the eyes of another, my enticer,

Do I edge closer to those beings just to breathe their fragrance, do I take the gamble,

There ain’t anything to lose says the mind, after one has to play till the last set,

No matter what, the end is inevitable, let’s live a life as blasphemously as the soul desires,

Let the raw you surface and blast through your wall of dread,

Clutch your dreams and rise above yourself and the shallow reality,

Let your other self shuffle the deck of cards, blow away the shadows of arriving moments,

Indulge yourself drugged in this one, playing to live the life of a free being.

Do you know who you are?

Do you know you are? Do you know what exactly are you doing right now and why? What do you see around yourself? Do you a natural way of life or do you see natural elements dipped in and clasped in elixir made of man made minerals and sheaths of the same cast wounded stiffly around it. Do these minerals have any base in nature? If they do, has the base dissolved and now all that is only the nonstop assault of a sand storm that blinds you? Look in, take of that fur coat off, it’s a coat that looks pleasant from the outside to the cataract eyes but bites your skin eating at your naked flesh. Now that you are naked, take those shades off, what do you see? Don’t you see just a creature on two legs?? Don’t you see yourself standing alone? Don’t you see each soul covered in flesh standing alone as naked as you, its flesh what is so shameful about it?

What is that you were clutching on too? Give it few good moments, let its sheath come off, tear through it layers, does it exist anymore? Is there a solid bark you touch, is there a hole left there, isn’t there just a vacuum?  The same stillness permeating through you and around you, do you feel it? What was it you were holding on to? Which piece of pie was it, variety of social norms; can you see thy society now? What do you see, blobs of light, emanating from those souls sans flesh, possibly still or probably treading in circles. What is that you holding in your hand again? Look at it, Oh it’s just a natural element given a shape by your lot, but the iron clad aura around it, shatter it, shatter it with your minds ax, does it have the horsepower to do that or are the shape’s layers in your hand too coarse to penetrate? Now come on, you made it, it has to be brittle when you want it to be, gone now, has it?? What is left was what existed around you with you since the elusive trickster, time came into existence. Now do you smell reality? What was that before? Wasn’t it an illusion? Now do you know who are? What were you doing and why are you doing?

Are you still writhing in pain? Does that cloud of pain and its life cell still exist? Don’t you see you made it, then you wore it, you drank all it had to offer, no questions asked, then you forgot to live without it, you forgot yourself, don’t you see what you make, takes over and ruins your soul in turn? It’s happened and is happening all around you, every moment the delusional palace that you have built entices your lot, its delusional offerings pull all towards its different orifices and walls, now we are herd of addicts. We live in continuum ache and we melt in euphoria and you let the illusion drape itself around you and guide you since you are now blind.

We all stand alone on one ground, and we want to create more gradation, more divide, more paths carved to tread on, dividing the ground by its lines. We see each other yet we don’t see the real us. We are clogged within those boundaries, we are trapped by our own norms, and the illusion is driving us out of our own selves. We make, we let it posses, we drink its nectar, it becomes poison and then we are in ruins and we live among those ruins, gathering ourselves again and again and again. Do you know who you are yet?

P.S- Its an unedited unconscious flow of thoughts

Random

Its been a long time since I have sketched anything, Usually I am just sitting and doodling away, trying to clear my head but this time I was listening to some instrumental music. That is because since long planning I have been  to introduce music and art together to my students in this form.

I have always found structure, rules, answers and conclusions to be limiting. How can one ever know anything for sure, but the mind being a set of electrical pipelines that tends to find and needs a form or structure to relate to, Or it just makes something non structured into a structure. However, I find that just letting my pen take over, questioning everything with a why and how opens the mind up. I never find any conclusive answers, just more questions questioning the previous answer.

 

 

The Mirage

The mirage, fragments of memory slide to this moment,

Some wishful cravings add their shine to it,

Yet the soul that knows pain, desires to burn again,

The reflection, the quiet enigma that was captured in it,

Draws the soul onto the ferry, travelling back to those lands of unrequited yearnings,

The soul stranded by the beauty, once more enraptured by the depth,

It stops, let’s time pass in its own flurry,

 Drinking the nectar from the blooming buds that were dropped by the moments gone by,

Nectar by the words spoken from a tongue that fears not the bite of an unreal reality,

With the winds drifts the aroma, the scent that only could belong to thy dark angel,

The strings of time pull the stranded soul, but it stands digging in its toes, eyes lost in the whirlwind of sensations,

“Just a while, let the world raft away, fade into the fog of its own misery, let me burn in my own sweet melancholy, 

Drink from the cup brimming with sweet poison,

Let night creep in, in the moonlight, let the soul dream, draped in the luminous mind’s poetic brazenness”